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CherishFlowers

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CherishFlowers
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 51417
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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CherishFlowers's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
694 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12640) - you deserved it (223231)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6550) - you deserved it (70940)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54346) - you deserved it (2959)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

#1759854
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49254) - you deserved it (5186)

On 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm - animals - by jamblasticus (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

#1756175
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57507) - you deserved it (2182)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm - work - by lover21 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

#1751733
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46813) - you deserved it (9534)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72262) - you deserved it (22004)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63698) - you deserved it (33789)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72933) - you deserved it (3750)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

#1743823
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54647) - you deserved it (4230)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:28am - health - by gimp. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

#1737355
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53267) - you deserved it (11237)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home, it was 80 degrees out. Making a rare attempt to be eco-friendly, I turned off the A/C and lowered the windows. A bee then flew in through the window, hit my cheek, and stung me. That's what I get for attempting to be eco-friendly. FML

#1736058
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39853) - you deserved it (9731)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

#1732153
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50684) - you deserved it (3862)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

#1732153
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50684) - you deserved it (3862)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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