CherishFlowers

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CherishFlowers

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 54950
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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CherishFlowers's page activity

Visits<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:10pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:39pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:23am<b>MrBoombastixa</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:53am<b>PatriciaAra</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:02pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:15am<b>DarkSatan5</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:55pm<b>heylady6911</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:09pm<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:49pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:56pm<b>gators1995</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 6:42pm<b>psd60</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 4:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:52am<b>girlslikeboyz</b> - the 01/10/2010 at 12:44am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 5:59pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 12:56am

CherishFlowers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CherishFlowers's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

by t-dawg / 05/09/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

by jamblasticus / 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

by lover21 / 05/08/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

by gangstalicious / 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

by stpdaziandude / 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

by gimp. / 05/08/2009 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was driving home, it was 80 degrees out. Making a rare attempt to be eco-friendly, I turned off the A/C and lowered the windows. A bee then flew in through the window, hit my cheek, and stung me. That's what I get for attempting to be eco-friendly. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

by PetitPrincePerdu / 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Kids

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

by PetitPrincePerdu / 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Kids

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

by Joey / 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm / United States (California) / Love