About ChefBoy6382 : I don't give a fuck about much these days...
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58101) - you deserved it (3217)
On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (47349)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17691) - you deserved it (70582)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32574) - you deserved it (10903)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52152) - you deserved it (4206)
On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57866) - you deserved it (16768)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (10505)
On 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (20582)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (70242)
On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45639) - you deserved it (4657)
On 06/19/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by thissucks (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10242) - you deserved it (29783)
On 06/19/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by popemichael (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19758) - you deserved it (85300)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went over to my boyfriends house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8757) - you deserved it (41782)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:08am - intimacy - by ohdeardarling (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25757) - you deserved it (49142)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver decided to spit into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (2774)
On 05/25/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by hahahah111 (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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