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Cheesus_Crust

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Cheesus_Crust

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  • Number of visits : 259
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cheesus_Crust's page activity

Visits<b>Hopein2025</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:43pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:57pm<b>acidinsomniac</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 8:58am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:16am

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Cheesus_Crust's favorite FMLs

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (2033)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

#21259366
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32233) - you deserved it (2154)

On 09/16/2014 at 10:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
74 comments

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34215) - you deserved it (2928)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40214) - you deserved it (2668)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33247) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (2518)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (7407)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (2636)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (7213)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42125) - you deserved it (2669)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (5685)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47481) - you deserved it (7658)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34304) - you deserved it (3044)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46729) - you deserved it (5511)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)



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