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Cheesus_Crust

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Cheesus_Crust

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  • Number of visits : 165
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:55pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:57pm<b>acidinsomniac</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 8:58am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:16am

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Cheesus_Crust's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (10621)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (7058)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42750) - you deserved it (6109)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (8957)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41293) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58800) - you deserved it (4554)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61558) - you deserved it (5420)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45624) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

#21142829
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (16580)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43400) - you deserved it (4349)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

#21142112
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44799) - you deserved it (12697)

On 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41846) - you deserved it (8926)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (19871)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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