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ChaseVoid's FML badges
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ChaseVoid's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
by xBubbles38 / 07/18/2011 at 11:17am / United States / Kids
by Ignored / 07/13/2011 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Geek
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML
by Willow / 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
by rapturezz / 06/06/2011 at 3:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML
by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by taydean / 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
- Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come… Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during… Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then…