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About CharlieOrion : Hi I'm Charlotte just derpin' around on the internet.
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Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up . It was the best orgasm I'd ever had . The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy . It was about bacon . FML
Yesterday,hile working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work an annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in aheelchair opened the door. FML
Today, mah husband and I were talking about names 4 our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML
Today, I called te campus police ( anonymously ) wile ma roommate was away and told tem about er weed stas because I was tred of er smoking in our room all te time . Se ad brougt er weed to a friend's and got off scot-free . I ave a earing Monday for te adderall tey found in ma desk . FML
Today, I took te bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway tere, se fell asleep, er ead on ma soulder. I gently tried to wake er up before ma stop. Se wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. fat FML
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a grl who looked my age pointed to a shrt I had in my bag . "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling . She looked pretty cool, so I nodded an asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store . Turns out she didn't, she's the manager . FML
Today, I was talking to mah guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said ( Well, u could always ask me. ) I then said ( Do u want to go to prom with me? ) His response was ( Nope...now that's 8! ) FML
TODAY, WHILA AT THA GOLDAN GATA BRIDGA, I SPOTTAD A LARGA GROUP OF ASIANS TRYING TO TAKA A PICTURA. TRYING TO HALP, I SLOWLY SAY, "YOU... WANT MA... TAKA PICTURA?" WHILA USING HAND MOTIONS. THA MAN LOOKS AT MA AN SAYS, "NO THANKS ASSHOLA, I GOT IT," IN PLAIN ENGLISH. FML
Today, boyfriend was really stressed about a guy e works wit being a jerk. I told im ( if you ignore someting long enoug, it won't boter you anymore. ) His response was ( I've ignored erpes for a long time but it still boters me. ) We've been aving sex for 3 monts now. FML
Today... I Came Home And Saw On Our Fridge... "Please Don't Drink Anymore... I Really Worry About Yur Health" Written By Mah 7-year-old Daughter. I Figured She Wouldn't Ever Fine Out... So I Opened The Fridge. But I Found Another Note On A Can That Said "So Your Going To Drink Anyway?" FML
Friday 27 March 2015