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ChaosBlitz

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 3:42am) | Search for a member

ChaosBlitz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1993
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ChaosBlitz's page activity

Visits<b>mcm_3</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:16pm<b>dalink</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 7:00am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 8:41pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:27am<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:37am<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:59pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:06am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 2:18am<b>TM24D</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:02pm<b>Sinkhole</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:53am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>MrGauss</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:42pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:31am<b>AudreySucks</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 4:41pm<b>vinnylord</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:20pm<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 7:04am

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ChaosBlitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65122) - you deserved it (32567)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53002) - you deserved it (2929)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40616) - you deserved it (2729)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45954) - you deserved it (12094)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (2809)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43267) - you deserved it (5252)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (10592)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54312) - you deserved it (4566)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46231) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55702) - you deserved it (23211)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

#20869383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57487) - you deserved it (4116)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49485) - you deserved it (10673)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52176) - you deserved it (4679)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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