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About Channing0806 : I like reading the fml's on here. They remind that murphy's law stays involved in other peoples life too. Feel free to send a message if you want.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (3392)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6714) - you deserved it (1951)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7656) - you deserved it (4497)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16082) - you deserved it (4727)
On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (3834)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (6616)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (7373)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (1578)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
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