About Chaith : I'm Jonathan Ryan
I'm into my fourth year of commerce, and I run a student powered contracting business. I love school, and improving myself in any way that I can.
I absolutely read all of your FML stories. Thanks for being amazing.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Socialite
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Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2941)
On 07/23/2010 at 9:18am - animals - by areyouserious (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (8551)
On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6577) - you deserved it (17487)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (5199)
On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to 'see if I would look hot even when pregnant'. We've been dating for three weeks now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (3562)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:20am - love - by notpregnant (woman) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5127) - you deserved it (30302)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (2120)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75293) - you deserved it (10635)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28380) - you deserved it (9732)
On 10/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anstice (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56536) - you deserved it (3659)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37278) - you deserved it (3182)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98203) - you deserved it (23537)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52365) - you deserved it (3451)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45773) - you deserved it (2702)
On 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by travinator121611 (man) - United States (California)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38180) - you deserved it (16634)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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