About Chaith : I'm Jonathan Ryan
I run a student powered contracting business, and am studying for my public accountant designation. I love travelling, fitness, and improving myself in any way that I can.
I absolutely read all of your FML stories. Thanks for being amazing.
About Chaith : I'm Jonathan Ryan
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Chaith's favorite FMLs
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by SG / 03/24/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
by kharrington / 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I flew to another country to see a concert. He said he'd carry all the cash and tickets in his wallet, so I left my bag at the hotel. He got so drunk, five minutes into the show he took off leaving me stranded in a strange city with no means of getting back to the hotel. FML
by givemechange / 04/06/2011 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Holidays
Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML
by faza4327 / 04/06/2011 at 3:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy
by Hanna / 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by guest / 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 5:04am / Australia / Transportation
by fungettingdressed / 10/12/2010 at 8:57am / United States / Intimacy
by Fml24609 / 08/09/2010 at 4:29am / United States (New York) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…