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CessOMG

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CessOMG
  • Town/Country : Vancouver, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 5741
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CessOMG : Princess of the b!tches.

CessOMG's last visitors

MaFioso13maddiiee00

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

CessOMG's favorite FMLs

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (2017)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

#19999670
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17976) - you deserved it (4435)

On 08/03/2012 at 1:24am - love - by DeeGirlMon (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52251) - you deserved it (9696)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

#19994550
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16078) - you deserved it (1828)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

#19994415
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (1330)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6946) - you deserved it (42932)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15861) - you deserved it (2044)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

#19994293
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20328) - you deserved it (1916)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

#19992075
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (1484)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (3711)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22169) - you deserved it (5863)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML

#19991026
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (3285)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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