CessOMG

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CessOMG

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22497
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CessOMG : Princess of the b!tches.

CessOMG's page activity

Visits<b>MaFioso13</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:11pm<b>maddiiee00</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 11:31am

CessOMG's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

CessOMG's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

by poopexperttt / 09/07/2012 at 3:12am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

by Lauraborealous / 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

by thatgirl17 / 08/31/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

by gotta love my momma / 08/28/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

by blue / 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 8:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

by Maria / 08/20/2012 at 9:25am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

by yarhyun1 / 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm / United States / Love

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous