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Celeden

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Celeden

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  • Number of visits : 715
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Celeden's page activity

Visits<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:17pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 9:35am<b>thejay907</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:03pm

Celeden's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Celeden's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (5998)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29613) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

#21362525
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23647) - you deserved it (1755)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:15am - health - by novaguy - United States

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

#21362430
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (3057)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:50am - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

#21362364
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (1578)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:19am - work - by O (woman) - Sweden

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML

#21361977
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you deserved it (4687)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (2721)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

#21361215
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (3854)

On 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by tom28402 - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41413) - you deserved it (3880)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

#21361118
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm - work - by vaylosa (woman) -

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (3711)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32323) - you deserved it (7718)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28895) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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