Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Celeden

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Celeden

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1771
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Celeden's page activity

Visits<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:00pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:52am<b>saffy66</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:14am<b>thejonac</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:35am<b>ETwilleatyou</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:54pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:05pm<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:17pm<b>thejay907</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:03pm

Celeden's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Celeden's badges

Celeden's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (3119)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (9052)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34075) - you deserved it (1981)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (2530)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (1815)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (6965)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30114) - you deserved it (2669)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother asked me how pasta is harvested. She actually thought it grew out of the ground. FML

#21408925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2156)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:37pm - misc - by a - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (4737)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (4505)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30768) - you deserved it (2667)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (2354)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
106 comments

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

#21402099
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (5423)

On 04/29/2015 at 11:31pm - love - by Confusedblonde - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: