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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22823) - you deserved it (2188)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6115) - you deserved it (20470)
Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15071) - you deserved it (4373)
On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4500) - you deserved it (25563)
Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16049) - you deserved it (2148)
On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a doctor's appointment. I left with referrals to both a dermatologist and a mental health professional. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12001) - you deserved it (1486)
On 07/27/2012 at 5:24am - health - by lexithepirate - United States
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (1510)
Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6695) - you deserved it (22356)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (1384)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6308) - you deserved it (15861)
On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (36548)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:10am - health - by xd3box - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19137) - you deserved it (1402)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4684) - you deserved it (45985)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (5008)
On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (1490)
On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)
Monday 20 May 2013
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