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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Mobility
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Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (5065)
On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)
Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15733) - you deserved it (2060)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9168) - you deserved it (19127)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (2077)
On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States
Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (938)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15747) - you deserved it (1417)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (1610)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19173) - you deserved it (1201)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13627) - you deserved it (1622)
On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (3391)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15420) - you deserved it (923)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11128) - you deserved it (19297)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12965) - you deserved it (5948)
On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15218) - you deserved it (2040)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4922) - you deserved it (38728)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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