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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Cayq

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Cayq
  • Town/Country : Kentucky, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 April 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 347
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cayq's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (17799) - you deserved it (5324)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (43529) - you deserved it (9217)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (1954)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

#13274017 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (3044)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060 (446)

I agree, your life sucks (52314) - you deserved it (6400)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (23659)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (17525) - you deserved it (1690)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

#8548832 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (1014)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (12559) - you deserved it (2020)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (12078) - you deserved it (3158)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

#7398429 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (12662) - you deserved it (4232)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (18411) - you deserved it (3337)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (1491)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

#5987362 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (3241)

On 10/25/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by oh dear - Sent from mobile version

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (9893)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)