Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 March 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 334
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Cautocracy : I am Glenn Coco

Cautocracy's page activity

Visits<b>toma1945</b> - 3 hours ago<b>cate18</b> - 6 hours ago<b>pipefitter69</b> - 10 hours ago<b>BigL99</b> - yesterday at 6:02pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - yesterday at 10:19am<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:59am<b>Sneado</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:44pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:14pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:58am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:32am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 9:37pm<b>wtffml1979</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:27pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:09am<b>Liam_S</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:33pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:13am<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:21pm<b>illestrealist</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:59pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:48am

Liked!<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:32pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Cozy_Blanket</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 3:17pm<b>kjax</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:00am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:34pm<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:05am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:36am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:42am<b>janfleury</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:10pm<b>rieebee</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:38pm<b>hamrtym</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:12am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:04am<b>stevenN659</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:58pm<b>onlyFuge17</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:51pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 12:05pm

Cautocracy's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Cautocracy's badges

Cautocracy's favorite FMLs

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (2044)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (5762)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49306) - you deserved it (4483)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45930) - you deserved it (3722)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (40641)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57947) - you deserved it (4864)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (5023)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (3061)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (2194)

On 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm - misc - by argh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43761) - you deserved it (7217)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:41am - intimacy - by wronged - Singapore

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29568) - you deserved it (4051)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (4798)

On 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm - love - by hcflorence1 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7975) - you deserved it (33974)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nakedyogagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: