Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CattyMcEwwen

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

CattyMcEwwen

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1936
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CattyMcEwwen : I'm very bubbly and always up for a chat if you want to message me :) I'm openly bisexual and my favourite band is Papa Roach :) I also love to edit pictures :P

CattyMcEwwen's page activity

Visits<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:48pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:04am<b>TJJOE</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:07pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:50am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Dudebromans</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:21pm<b>nrwl_30</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:23am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:04pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:33pm<b>brasiliano</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 3:30pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 1:18am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 1:17pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51am<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 5:41am<b>Moklon</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:14pm<b>Leafa</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:23am

Fucked!<b>Wingman527</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:32pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 3:44pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:36am<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:16pm<b>cameronaka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:03am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:32am

CattyMcEwwen's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of CattyMcEwwen's badges

CattyMcEwwen's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

#21328812
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (6679)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by CK95 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

#21328540
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

#21327916
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (10695)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:59pm - love - by lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (15633)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (2621)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14321) - you deserved it (35063)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (3472)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

#21322769
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (5539)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring 'cause he was so good looking. FML

#21322556
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (4264)

On 12/23/2014 at 6:28am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (5863)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35316) - you deserved it (6538)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: