About Catkam623 : Hi stalker I'm bored.
P.S. it's a porsche 944, i actually do own it, and no my parents did not buy it for me, I bought it myself.
About Catkam623 : Hi stalker I'm bored.
Catkam623's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Catkam623's favorite FMLs
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls." His response: "We don't." FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML
by i.ask.you.how. / 07/12/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML
by SuperBunny / 04/20/2009 at 3:59am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML
by stillpoor / 03/14/2009 at 9:44am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Noname / 02/25/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
by jons / 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Wenny / 01/18/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML
by none / 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to… Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder.… Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent…