About Catkam623 : Hi stalker I'm bored.
P.S. it's a porsche 944, i actually do own it, and no my parents did not buy it for me, I bought it myself.
About Catkam623 : Hi stalker I'm bored.
Catkam623's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Catkam623's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML
by deadman / 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health
by Eric Ngan / 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm / Singapore / Animals
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
by Colton / 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Surprisebuttsecks? / 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
by Jack / 07/08/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:21am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
by drunkfacebookuser / 10/23/2010 at 9:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by NotANaturist / 01/01/2010 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…