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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
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Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14545) - you deserved it (1039)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States
Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13202) - you deserved it (1080)
On 09/27/2012 at 1:22am - work - by theotherotherguy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14401) - you deserved it (5405) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13027) - you deserved it (1543)
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11893) - you deserved it (5365)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by cmc9540 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (1739)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (1390)
On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4877) - you deserved it (3130)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14492) - you deserved it (1043)
On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16203) - you deserved it (1082)
On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (16431)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16839) - you deserved it (1248)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4926) - you deserved it (38763)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (2084)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:54am - love - by Flighted (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (1497)
On 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm - work - by karmas a kunt (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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