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Cat_Daniels's favorite FMLs
Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML
by theotherotherguy / 09/27/2012 at 1:22am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
by / 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML
by cmc9540 / 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
by Juiced / 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML
by sucker / 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Health
Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
by dontrapeme / 09/26/2012 at 6:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by IHateMyLife / 09/22/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/22/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Health
by Flighted / 09/22/2012 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML
by karmas a kunt / 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Work
by The Drew / 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Money
- Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I… Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I… Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the…