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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
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Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (1515)
On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States
Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (6717)
On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23894) - you deserved it (2056)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you deserved it (1527)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13076) - you deserved it (1774)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17737) - you deserved it (4047)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (797)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15760) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18241) - you deserved it (5157)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20451) - you deserved it (1694)
On 10/12/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by You're NOT getting lucky today hun (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (1175)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)
Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (1591)
On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15748) - you deserved it (2062)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States
Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (875)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12291) - you deserved it (1316)
On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)
Monday 20 May 2013
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