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Cat_Daniels's favorite FMLs
Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
by sad / 11/05/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Tj Hunt / 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm / United States / Love
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
by Ugh / 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
by spiderwoman / 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Animals
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy
by bigbum / 11/04/2012 at 4:50am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Chuffy / 11/04/2012 at 2:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by PleaseDontBeSerious / 11/04/2012 at 1:30am / Canada / Kids
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
by markderanjer / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
by justcomesnaturally / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
- Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone… Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the… Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is…