Cassowary_lover

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Offline (the 01/30/2015 at 4:17pm)

Cassowary_lover

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2659
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Cassowary_lover : Awkward lass trapped in the 21st century. I love lots of music and vintage things.
Adsum.

Cassowary_lover's page activity

Visits<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:53pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 3:22am<b>codytallica</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 9:34am<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:11am<b>PierceTheSquidgy</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 6:44pm<b>rocker_chick105</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:59pm<b>drshn</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:23pm<b>arabe30</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 10:49pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 2:58am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:21pm<b>katnissmellark</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 12:31am<b>THE_Black_Jesus</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:26am<b>nreed32</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 10:40pm<b>mandacleary</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:49pm<b>steins</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:05am<b>WildWonder808</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:27pm<b>moondoggie</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 1:47am

Cassowary_lover's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Cassowary_lover's favorite FMLs

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

by Lithiac / 02/04/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

by Jane M / 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

by OutOfMyMind / 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 9:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous