Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Casseopeia

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Casseopeia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 480
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Casseopeia : Potterhead ⚡

Casseopeia's page activity

Visits<b>maxdragonxiii</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:50pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 5:10pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:57pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:29pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>hook_em67</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 11:57am<b>handyone01</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:49pm<b>hplover32</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:01pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 2:42am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:11pm<b>IMakeItNasty</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 6:16pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 9:36pm<b>im_joking</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:09am<b>astonedraccoon</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 4:03pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/22/2012 at 3:27pm

Casseopeia's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Casseopeia's badges

Casseopeia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (20690)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83914) - you deserved it (6901)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65852) - you deserved it (12652)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64613) - you deserved it (16407)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33293) - you deserved it (4469)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33803) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (2016)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (2506)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (3430)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (3883)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35447) - you deserved it (8932)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38023) - you deserved it (2205)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (12408)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (3816)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: