Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cassandra0313

Offline (the 10/14/2014 at 8:28am) | Search for a member

Cassandra0313

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Cassandra0313 : I probably appear normal to most people but those who know me know otherwise. I am usually optimisic but sometimes I can't help but think that someone up there has it out for me. This makes me ask what else could go wrong with my day. Then of course everything under the sun goes wrong! I am not quite your average student, I happen to get straight a's. I am a student in my school's choir and am singing almost 24/7. I am usually dramatic and easy to love but I have my moments. I am an animal lover and volunteer at my local spca ( for those who dont know or didnt guess it is an aminal shelter). I love to camp although i am not outdoorsy. I hate every sport with the exceptions of gymnastics, skating, dancing, and swimming athought i am not the most graceful dancer. Reading is my life, if you hate books, you can turn away now (you have been shunned). Goodbye fellow profile creepers ;).

Cassandra0313's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:32pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:57am<b>maxface</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:59pm<b>mmaaday</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:06am<b>pataplop</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:55am<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:01am<b>ragdoll316</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 12:14am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:05pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:40am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:18am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 3:44am<b>gabix3</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:11am<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 10:48am<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 7:51pm<b>olpally</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 4:53pm<b>Scopeland2</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 3:38pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 12:21pm

Cassandra0313's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Cassandra0313's badges

Cassandra0313's favorite FMLs

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64552) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (44704)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (13756)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44586) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52417) - you deserved it (13357)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42014) - you deserved it (21828)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58369) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36582) - you deserved it (3222)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (10813)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (4774)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49294) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45407) - you deserved it (4822)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29166) - you deserved it (1873)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (29387)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: