Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 8:10pm) | Search for a member
About Cassandra0313 : I probably appear normal to most people but those who know me know otherwise. I am usually optimisic but sometimes I can't help but think that someone up there has it out for me. This makes me ask what else could go wrong with my day. Then of course everything under the sun goes wrong! I am not quite your average student, I happen to get straight a's. I am a student in my school's choir and am singing almost 24/7. I am usually dramatic and easy to love but I have my moments. I am an animal lover and volunteer at my local spca ( for those who dont know or didnt guess it is an aminal shelter). I love to camp although i am not outdoorsy. I hate every sport with the exceptions of gymnastics, skating, dancing, and swimming athought i am not the most graceful dancer. Reading is my life, if you hate books, you can turn away now (you have been shunned). Goodbye fellow profile creepers ;).
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
Friday 24 October 2014