CarterColbie

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CarterColbie

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2566
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About CarterColbie : Hello there, I'm RIZZY (I run this bitch now). I first discovered FML in history class a while ago. One of them made me giggle like mad at one of the most innappropriate times. What were we discussing in class that fateful day? The Holocaust.

Anyways, I'm from New York. I used to live in Canada. I love playing guitar, writing songs, and reading. One day I hope to pursue a career in comedy.

CarterColbie's page activity

Visits<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 7:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:49pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 10:49pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 6:44am<b>abhi95</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:17am<b>Marshmallowjello</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:36am<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:32pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:35pm<b>horns69</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:36am<b>lazyapple</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:52am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:41am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:56pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:21pm<b>LtBoom</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:13pm<b>bnymets1</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 12:06am<b>FaceMyLies</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 4:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 12:49am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:49am<b>abhi95</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:17am

CarterColbie's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of CarterColbie's badges

CarterColbie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

by Braelynn / 01/26/2011 at 2:48am / Kids

Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

by Seline / 11/25/2010 at 9:48am / Animals

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

by Nick / 11/27/2009 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

by badwife / 11/07/2009 at 5:22am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

by bdayloser / 11/07/2009 at 12:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

by anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Animals