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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Carlyyy

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Carlyyy
  • Town/Country : U.S.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 March 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 946
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Carlyyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (3486)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (11687) - you deserved it (31165)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (921) - you deserved it (2436)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats & turntable scratches. FML

#4344107 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (4940)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

#4308181 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (21849) - you deserved it (59840)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (24577)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (5150)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50429) - you deserved it (10395)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML

#4073449 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (55617) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81745) - you deserved it (24052)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

#3142518 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (54982)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (29580) - you deserved it (62477)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167971) - you deserved it (51062)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (65733)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (94710) - you deserved it (6288)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)