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Carlyndra's FML badges
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Carlyndra's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
by youmindyourownbusiness / 02/15/2013 at 12:53am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
by dating a fucking psycho / 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money
by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML
by nosebleeder / 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous
Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry / 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm / United States / Health
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
by Target / 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by tongue tied / 02/11/2013 at 3:57am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Greg / 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
by must be adopted / 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
by obsequiousfannyflapper / 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher… Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini… Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This…