About CaramelMacchiato : Life is a beach, I'm just playing in the sand.
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CaramelMacchiato's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
by inapickle / 05/16/2012 at 4:20am / United States (Maine) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by lspicknall / 05/12/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
by jessye1182 / 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
by pokeballbra / 10/17/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML
by argh / 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and… Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and… Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came,…