About CaramelMacchiato : Life is a beach, I'm just playing in the sand.
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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
CaramelMacchiato's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
by inapickle / 05/16/2012 at 4:20am / United States (Maine) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by lspicknall / 05/12/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
by jessye1182 / 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Grindyloo / 05/05/2012 at 6:06am / Kids
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
by pokeballbra / 10/17/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML
by argh / 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous