About CaramelMacchiato : Life is a beach, I'm just playing in the sand.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20694) - you deserved it (7340)
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (2881)
On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (23304)
On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12504) - you deserved it (2443)
On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (1138)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by Notasinner (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28060) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4773) - you deserved it (22478)
On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (1947)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (3585)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18090) - you deserved it (1172)
On 05/19/2012 at 6:02am - health - by lubey - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (5223)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (1237)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (16444)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5382) - you deserved it (29919)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (3685)
On 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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