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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (86267) - you deserved it (17603)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40542) - you deserved it (14258)
On 04/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by imbx (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31472) - you deserved it (71957)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12882) - you deserved it (70712)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6446) - you deserved it (78694)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79993) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96769) - you deserved it (4809)
On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86498) - you deserved it (26141)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (189690) - you deserved it (16639)
On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64802) - you deserved it (10558)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (382118)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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