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CaptainPickles72

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CaptainPickles72
  • Town/Country : Green Hell, Alabamar, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 September 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 5064
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainPickles72 : You like me, and I, like you, like me!

10/10 people say I'm funny, and they also say 99% of statistics are made up. These people seem to know a lot! You know what that means!? I'm fucking funny!!

Your words say no, but your kicks to the groin say yes!

I like to joke around a lot, though I wouldn't say I'm an entirely funny person. I do have my moments though! If you wanna message me and joke around or just wanna ask a question or two, feel free to! I'm a nice person and love getting to know people.

I would write some more, but I'm too busy giving back to the community via the drugs I sell them.

CaptainPickles72's last visitors

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CaptainPickles72's FML badges

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

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CaptainPickles72's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31407) - you deserved it (9292)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (9837)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37538) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

#15780453
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (5689)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16027) - you deserved it (34304)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (6988)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (24009)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41781) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39780) - you deserved it (27803)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43133) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20628) - you deserved it (60166)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (8960)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (8141)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)



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