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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 9890
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainPickles72 : You like me, and I, like you, like me!

10/10 people say I'm funny, and they also say 99% of statistics are made up. These people seem to know a lot! You know what that means!? I'm fucking funny!!

Your words say no, but your kicks to the groin say yes!

I like to joke around a lot, though I wouldn't say I'm an entirely funny person. I do have my moments though! If you wanna message me and joke around or just wanna ask a question or two, feel free to! I'm a nice person and love getting to know people.

I would write some more, but I'm too busy giving back to the community via the drugs I sell them.

CaptainPickles72's page activity

Visits<b>archimedes200</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 1:41am<b>meruem77z</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 9:49am<b>classicate</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 8:02am<b>Joshawott14</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:37pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>A_Chacon</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:08am<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:24pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:31pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:33pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:09am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 1:53am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:37am<b>ellie_215</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:49pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:43am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 3:14pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 9:56am<b>Cindale_87</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:33pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:06am

Fucked!<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:33pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 2:57pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:06am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:05pm<b>evan4guitar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:56pm

CaptainPickles72's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of CaptainPickles72's badges

CaptainPickles72's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

by Andrew / 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

by rawr / 04/20/2011 at 10:15am / Work

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 1:49am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm / Animals

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

by VoiceMail / 04/09/2011 at 8:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

by shelby / 03/30/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

by Fcuked / 03/23/2011 at 12:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy