CaptainPickles72

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CaptainPickles72

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 September 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 8935
  • Number of comments : 317
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaptainPickles72 : You like me, and I, like you, like me!

10/10 people say I'm funny, and they also say 99% of statistics are made up. These people seem to know a lot! You know what that means!? I'm fucking funny!!

Your words say no, but your kicks to the groin say yes!

I like to joke around a lot, though I wouldn't say I'm an entirely funny person. I do have my moments though! If you wanna message me and joke around or just wanna ask a question or two, feel free to! I'm a nice person and love getting to know people.

I would write some more, but I'm too busy giving back to the community via the drugs I sell them.

CaptainPickles72's page activity

Visits<b>Joshawott14</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:37pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:04pm<b>A_Chacon</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:08am<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:24pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:31pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:33pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:09am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 1:53am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:37am<b>ellie_215</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:49pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:43am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 3:14pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 9:56am<b>Cindale_87</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:33pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:06am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 5:05pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:11pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:32pm

Fucked!<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:33pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 2:57pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:06am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:05pm<b>evan4guitar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:56pm

CaptainPickles72's FML badges

The rules are the rules

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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CaptainPickles72's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 2:28am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

by Musicfreak / 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

by Une Fille / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

by Emily / 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

by wow / 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

by wow / 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids

Today, I found out my dad has been sending dirty text messages to my mom. Which wouldn't be a problem except they're divorced and my dad is remarried. FML

by bgoodwin07 / 11/29/2011 at 8:31am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

by honor sucks / 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

by Badab1ng / 11/24/2011 at 1:52am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

by random person / 11/13/2011 at 1:16am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

by spacemanspiff78 / 10/31/2011 at 11:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy