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CaptainPat

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CaptainPat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19326
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About CaptainPat : i am me

CaptainPat's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:14pm<b>midnighttoker7</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 5:22am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:18am<b>EvilEthan</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:35am<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 12:21am<b>lkalili</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 9:47pm<b>N_GwallaWeTrust</b> - the 01/31/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 12:37pm<b>shsean1love</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 2:37pm<b>patacus</b> - the 08/05/2012 at 1:19am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b>evarnae</b> - the 09/03/2011 at 2:30am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 01/16/2011 at 7:38am<b>Lisa_Gaskarth</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 3:45pm<b>ColdBlackLies</b> - the 01/10/2011 at 1:01am<b>talun</b> - the 01/04/2011 at 6:28am<b>zzzBOLTzzz</b> - the 01/01/2011 at 5:58pm<b>Giftig</b> - the 12/31/2010 at 6:10am

CaptainPat's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CaptainPat's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (2763)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22788) - you deserved it (6978)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

#3720470
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56787) - you deserved it (29591)

On 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by JackOLantern (man) - Satellite Provider

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (110010)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119713) - you deserved it (74044)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53732) - you deserved it (5458)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

#790752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (38401)

On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170781) - you deserved it (30600)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
878 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60336) - you deserved it (631722)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (84908)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54156) - you deserved it (313980)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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