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CaptainColor

Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 2:02pm) | Search for a member

CaptainColor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 322
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CaptainColor's page activity

Visits<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:29am<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:02pm

CaptainColor's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of CaptainColor's badges

CaptainColor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (2147)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33748) - you deserved it (2553)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (7787)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34945) - you deserved it (4117)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25824) - you deserved it (52027)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (14436)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48782) - you deserved it (4320)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (3658)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34633) - you deserved it (3764)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44440) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45053) - you deserved it (5125)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47734) - you deserved it (2869)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48102) - you deserved it (4539)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

#21230914
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42201) - you deserved it (9152)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by beaverfever (man) - Poland (Zachodniopomorskie)



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