Captain0bv10us

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Captain0bv10us

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3574
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Captain0bv10us : I am a manwhore without a peer, absorbing sex from the atmosphere...

Captain0bv10us's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 10:49am<b>zainman13</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 10:40am<b>MuslimShady</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 12:13pm<b>NippyGee</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:23pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:15am<b>thatguy206</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:26am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 4:25pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:47am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 5:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:07am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:32pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:15am<b>brutal1</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:54am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:18am<b>kunjac0945</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:55am<b>groovy579</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:21pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 9:29am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:06pm

Fucked!<b>zainman13</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 4:41pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:47am

Captain0bv10us's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Captain0bv10us's favorite FMLs

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

by Snurkles McGree / 12/29/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

by Yo mom / 12/27/2011 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

by rojin12 / 08/30/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

by hendrix1 / 08/25/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

by dukebluedevils13 / 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

by Bobsaget00 / 08/04/2011 at 6:19am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

by Bobsaget00 / 08/04/2011 at 6:19am / United States (Ohio) / Kids