About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.
Capt_Obvious's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs
by Telemarket / 04/04/2012 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML
by DanteWest1000 / 04/03/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
by James / 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health
by azmom / 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Teenagegirl / 03/26/2012 at 12:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by user210 / 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…