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Capt_Obvious

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Capt_Obvious
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1821
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

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Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45879) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (7420)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

#18479280
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19107) - you deserved it (3133)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

#18472242
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (6072)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21768) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

#18456700
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (5307)

On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

#18449998
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (8881)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (3849)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (2261)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35783) - you deserved it (2261)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

#18421974
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (4383)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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