Capt_Obvious

Search for a member

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 6:27pm)

Capt_Obvious

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14793
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

Capt_Obvious's page activity

Visits<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:23am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 12:15am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 5:01am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:31am<b>constipation</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 6:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:23pm<b>raven83</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:16pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:40pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 5:20am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:53pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:21pm<b>katyliz91</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:45pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:50am<b>mominzed</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>Anata</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:06am

Capt_Obvious's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Capt_Obvious's badges

Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

by Telemarket / 04/04/2012 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

by DanteWest1000 / 04/03/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

by James / 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

by azmom / 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

by Teenagegirl / 03/26/2012 at 12:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

by user210 / 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous