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Capt_Obvious

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Capt_Obvious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4067
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capt_Obvious : Gamer, Grammar NAZI, Sarcastic . . . That's about all you need to know.

Capt_Obvious's page activity

Visits<b>katyliz91</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Ghosty546</b> - yesterday at 2:50am<b>mominzed</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:08am<b>Anata</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:06am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:14am<b>Zenic032797</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:25pm<b>kidinkbaby</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:01am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:50am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:27am<b>violetsweety</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:24pm<b>tcmxo</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:06pm<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Martyna0611</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:27pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:50pm<b>dutchy86</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:28pm<b>Bloink</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:54pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:34pm

Capt_Obvious's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Capt_Obvious's badges

Capt_Obvious's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (3073)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24312) - you deserved it (2436)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (3135)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13478) - you deserved it (48358)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (10989)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7794) - you deserved it (62495)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (4393)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (9101)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22043) - you deserved it (3047)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13060) - you deserved it (54025) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14477) - you deserved it (34374)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (3088)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

#19432240
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (6271)

On 04/08/2012 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (3062)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)



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