Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12583
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 7:29am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:24am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 9:59pm<b>moldehbread</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 9:46am<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:01pm<b>sastiel</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:48am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:54pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:08am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 12:29am<b>eggfactory</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 8:02pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:03pm<b>NikkiVxD</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 1:12pm<b>dianer7</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:36pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:43pm

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Capt_Oblivious's badges

Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML

by maf811 / 11/07/2011 at 7:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

by panickygrl / 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

by dre_bro11 / 11/06/2011 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

by whatadisappointmnet / 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

by oink401 / 11/05/2011 at 11:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML

by oneillrox / 11/03/2011 at 4:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

by snownerd / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

by stitchesupmyass / 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

by pain / 11/01/2011 at 10:52am / United States / Health

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

by stdpositivenow / 10/18/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Florida) / Health