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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6599
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:44pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:23am<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:24am<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>rubez08</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:29am<b>CrackCrazedMonky</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:10pm<b>F_Ur_Lives</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:22am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:39pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:33am<b>adam97</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:17am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:42am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:09pm<b>Anomalymous</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:03am<b>24jfred</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 7:39pm<b>wGx14</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 9:56pm

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (40373)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15604) - you deserved it (31311)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (3508)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML

#18182410
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32382) - you deserved it (2374)

On 11/07/2011 at 7:13am - misc - by maf811 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

#18174225
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you deserved it (3450)

On 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm - health - by panickygrl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (11062)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (9132)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54055) - you deserved it (3876)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML

#18148198
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (3845)

On 11/03/2011 at 4:06pm - money - by oneillrox - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

#18146927
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15033) - you deserved it (34706)

On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

#18130985
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42320) - you deserved it (4124)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm - health - by stitchesupmyass (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (5371)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

#18128181
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8406) - you deserved it (34701)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:52am - health - by pain - United States

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11928) - you deserved it (55848)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49876) - you deserved it (4544)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)



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