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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7797
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - yesterday at 8:26am<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:11am<b>ktm71125</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:00am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:26pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:37am<b>The_Illegal_Juan</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:42pm<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:00am<b>xxnick2dmaxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Martijn1102</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:44pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:23am<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:24am<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

#18459141
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

#18451156
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (2656)

On 12/07/2011 at 6:35am - health - by cuppycakeslove - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
98 comments

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (1733)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (17296)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (4063)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML

#18437830
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/05/2011 at 5:30pm - money - by Poor Student - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7918) - you deserved it (65628)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (16594)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

#18421974
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (4662)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

#18411297
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35544) - you deserved it (6050)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

#18409313
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41951) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML

#18392914
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (17578)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:15am - misc - by oops - United Kingdom



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