About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.
100 kick ass comments
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Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6162) - you deserved it (47407)
On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34077) - you deserved it (11972)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (3493)
On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (2588)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (4791)
On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (1695)
On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (13038)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:15am - misc - by oops - United Kingdom
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35980) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8100) - you deserved it (52487)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (2259)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (6435)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17126) - you deserved it (1494)
On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)
Today, I re-broke my leg. The same way I broke it the first time, playing frisbee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15177) - you deserved it (8807)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:44am - health - by Sammy - United States (Georgia)
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39529) - you deserved it (4279)
On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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