About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
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Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (2856)
On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (3656)
On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23937) - you deserved it (1751)
On 02/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you deserved it (43682)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (28385)
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (3493)
On 12/22/2011 at 5:05pm - animals - by shrdlu (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (54362)
On 12/22/2011 at 10:23am - work - by insomnia (woman) - United States
Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7371) - you deserved it (22936)
On 12/15/2011 at 10:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15562) - you deserved it (3691)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20595) - you deserved it (12261)
On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6716) - you deserved it (23238)
On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States
Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16848) - you deserved it (4130)
On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (6393)
On 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by myjobsucks - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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