About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.
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Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37676) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (1160)
On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States
Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (1246)
On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)
Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (850)
On 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by SHIIIIITTTT (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13947) - you deserved it (1419)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)
Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13010) - you deserved it (1302)
On 07/30/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12556) - you deserved it (2751)
On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (1597)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4674) - you deserved it (63513)
On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States
Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they kept exclaiming, "Omigod! That's just like Kate!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12101) - you deserved it (1685)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:22am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (6231)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (2109)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33535) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15575) - you deserved it (6889)
On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States
Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18967) - you deserved it (1437)
On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)
Friday 24 May 2013
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