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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11059
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>SunshineX7</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:21pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:33am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 3:05am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 4:29am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:12pm<b>moophasa</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:21pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:15am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:19am<b>zerolight</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 11:12am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:27am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:25am<b>StreetlightM</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:18pm<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:25pm<b>raven83</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:47am

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

#15720918
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18550) - you deserved it (28187)

On 04/10/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by Ouch (woman) - Canada

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32360) - you deserved it (16647)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (6776)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72989) - you deserved it (5898)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112773) - you deserved it (7954)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47577) - you deserved it (6183)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31779) - you deserved it (6377)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. We're currently sharing a room on a cruise ship. FML

#15589378
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39136) - you deserved it (5289)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:35pm - love - by gRRRrr (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (22812)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (4979)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML

#15542266
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (48732)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13864) - you deserved it (69471)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48690) - you deserved it (16003)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

#15536155
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (7791)

On 03/28/2011 at 8:31pm - kids - by ohshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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