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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7028
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>xxnick2dmaxx</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Martijn1102</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:44pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:23am<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:24am<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>rubez08</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:29am<b>CrackCrazedMonky</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:10pm<b>F_Ur_Lives</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:22am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:39pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:33am<b>adam97</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:17am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:42am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:09pm

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

#15720918
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17468) - you deserved it (27038)

On 04/10/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by Ouch (woman) - Canada

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30790) - you deserved it (16204)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29244) - you deserved it (6527)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72418) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105970) - you deserved it (7457)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46109) - you deserved it (6022)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31448) - you deserved it (6347)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. We're currently sharing a room on a cruise ship. FML

#15589378
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38814) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:35pm - love - by gRRRrr (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19573) - you deserved it (21891)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (4874)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML

#15542266
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (46036)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13737) - you deserved it (69101)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (15398)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

#15536155
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (7586)

On 03/28/2011 at 8:31pm - kids - by ohshit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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