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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7165
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:00am<b>xxnick2dmaxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Martijn1102</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:44pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:23am<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:24am<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>rubez08</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:29am<b>CrackCrazedMonky</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:10pm<b>F_Ur_Lives</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:22am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:39pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:33am<b>adam97</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:17am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:42am

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Capt_Oblivious's badges

Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (42698)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

#16052979
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (4628)

On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

#16044464
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (8134)

On 05/04/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42246) - you deserved it (7585)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML

#16020666
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33079) - you deserved it (16036)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by beaverless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

#16019249
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25622) - you deserved it (3724)

On 05/02/2011 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

#16016307
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37001) - you deserved it (9701)

On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14816) - you deserved it (44572)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51825) - you deserved it (4981)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

#15991792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32059) - you deserved it (9652)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

#15932020
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37659) - you deserved it (4418)

On 04/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Israel

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49140) - you deserved it (5782)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36277) - you deserved it (18814)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

#15899669
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32765) - you deserved it (6388)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

#15835287
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (3930)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States



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