About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.
100 kick ass comments
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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45789) - you deserved it (4518)
On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)
Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (7553)
On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (4071)
On 04/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Israel
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (4476)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30214) - you deserved it (14476)
On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (5082)
On 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (3047)
On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States
Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50596) - you deserved it (3441)
On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -
Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (39328)
On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30440) - you deserved it (2214)
On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (5968)
On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42357) - you deserved it (5639)
On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34888) - you deserved it (3291)
On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - love - by ColdHeat (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I made a video for a school tour of my apartment in German. The walls in my apartment are thin, so you could hear my sister having phone sex in her room in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (4042)
On 04/16/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Xanadu (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9244) - you deserved it (68725)
On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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