Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13635
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 7:29am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:24am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 9:59pm<b>moldehbread</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 9:46am<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:01pm<b>sastiel</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:48am<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:54pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:08am<b>bryce0110</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 12:29am<b>eggfactory</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 8:02pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:03pm<b>NikkiVxD</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 1:12pm<b>dianer7</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:36pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:43pm

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Capt_Oblivious's badges

Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

by gymgirl / 05/05/2011 at 9:47am / Hong Kong / Health

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

by asadwa / 05/05/2011 at 1:38am / Miscellaneous

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2011 at 2:05pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

by woah / 05/04/2011 at 7:51am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML

by beaverless / 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2011 at 1:43pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

by ohtheshame / 05/02/2011 at 4:34am / Intimacy

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

by Cassie / 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm / Animals

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 8:03am / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

by Mike / 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

by Ouch / 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Work

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

by waterdog / 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm / United States / Work