About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.
100 kick ass comments
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Today, the pipe in the dining room sink suddenly broke open and in about 15 minutes my entire apartment was turned into an indoor swimming pool. The worst part? I was there the entire time, playing video games with my headphones on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10617) - you deserved it (32103)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by o.v. (man) - Bangladesh
Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (7621)
On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)
Today, on the school bus, I rapped on a window in an attempt to get my friend's attention. A guy sitting behind me took this as an opportunity to shove my face into the window, breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (3567)
On 05/12/2011 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13306) - you deserved it (20077)
On 05/12/2011 at 3:25pm - love - by ClearOne (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (8285)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:12am - health - by Anonymous -
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11374) - you deserved it (64572)
On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32065) - you deserved it (2186)
On 05/07/2011 at 7:54am - love - by bigcityfail (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9355) - you deserved it (37992)
On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32602) - you deserved it (3634)
On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (7467)
On 05/04/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (5949)
On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in sexual activity anymore because it is getting too boring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (12284)
On 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by beaverless - United States (Georgia)
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20992) - you deserved it (3305)
On 05/02/2011 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30665) - you deserved it (7578)
On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12483) - you deserved it (39607)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Monday 20 May 2013
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