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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8246
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>Jodencrans</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Chronomay</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:39pm<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:26am<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:11am<b>ktm71125</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:00am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:26pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:37am<b>The_Illegal_Juan</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:42pm<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:00am<b>xxnick2dmaxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Martijn1102</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:44pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:23am<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:24am<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:01pm

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

#16370562
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (3720)

On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7778) - you deserved it (49322)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47620) - you deserved it (10580)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11458) - you deserved it (37452)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

#16246614
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10662) - you deserved it (21057)

On 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65143) - you deserved it (4471)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61967) - you deserved it (9680)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, the pipe in the dining room sink suddenly broke open and in about 15 minutes my entire apartment was turned into an indoor swimming pool. The worst part? I was there the entire time, playing video games with my headphones on. FML

#16205255
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13254) - you deserved it (42673)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by o.v. (man) - Bangladesh

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

#16161351
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (9882)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)

Today, on the school bus, I rapped on a window in an attempt to get my friend's attention. A guy sitting behind me took this as an opportunity to shove my face into the window, breaking my nose. FML

#16146603
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (4791)

On 05/12/2011 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

#16144960
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16449) - you deserved it (27777)

On 05/12/2011 at 3:25pm - love - by ClearOne (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML

#16113761
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (10921)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:12am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14246) - you deserved it (84138)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

#16076129
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:54am - love - by bigcityfail (man) - United States (Illinois)



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