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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious
  • Town/Country : Earth
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2848
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

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100 kick ass comments

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (2441)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

#16954245
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (2052)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML

#16927788
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (1714)

On 06/30/2011 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54316) - you deserved it (4978)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML

#16907603
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27795) - you deserved it (1728)

On 06/29/2011 at 8:59am - work - by frustrated (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40351) - you deserved it (3171)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (2558)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

#16661874
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47667) - you deserved it (3592)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

#16607175
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (2178)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:48am - health - by pleasestop (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17626) - you deserved it (35905)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (2544)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I asked to change my major at the college I'm transferring to in the fall. Instead of letting me change my major, they withdrew my acceptance. FML

#16486485
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (3081)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:34pm - misc - by transfer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (10786)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -



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