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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious
  • Town/Country : Earth
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5859
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35503) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was from a baby rabbit. FML

#17490947
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (22133)

On 08/16/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by scaredscreenless - United States

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (3144)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47745) - you deserved it (4470)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54762) - you deserved it (5497)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (7538)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

#17322871
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (13661)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

#17307375
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (8558)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by tamponface (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

#17294621
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (5733)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Tallulah (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32330) - you deserved it (6589)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32587) - you deserved it (2656)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

#17089310
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (36097)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:40am - love - by whyme - United States (California)

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30242) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML

#17044737
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32323) - you deserved it (5490)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by wolf boy - United States (Connecticut)



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