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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious
  • Town/Country : Earth
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5768
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

#17686275
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (1849)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by doughgirl101 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18539) - you deserved it (4455)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (12497)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

#17620936
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22945) - you deserved it (6556)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

#17612876
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (1998)

On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML

#17611164
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (9127)

On 08/29/2011 at 8:46am - love - by True Story - Canada

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

#17517733
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (5887)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:38am - love - by ginger (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to register for college classes with my mom. Upon leaving, my mom confessed to me that she thinks I will get pregnant and drop out before my freshman year is over. FML

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8939) - you deserved it (32119)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

#17506139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25565) - you deserved it (6074)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

#17502904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (33920)

On 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6951) - you deserved it (91492)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)



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