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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10167
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:27am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:25am<b>StreetlightM</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:18pm<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:25pm<b>raven83</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:47am<b>oops6663</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Ev3d11</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:30am<b>Jodencrans</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Chronomay</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:39pm<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:26am<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:11am<b>ktm71125</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:00am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:26pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:37am

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

today I'm on holiday in Ghana . After having worn an anklet I bought ere for the past two weeks, I was told that it's usd by the local prostitutes to advertise thier trade . FML

#20637157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46183) - you deserved it (7163)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

TODAY, A FRIEND AND I WERE WALKING AROUND A FESTIVALHEN OUT OF NOWHERE A GIANT BUG HIT ME IN THE FACE. I WENT INTO INSTANT NINJA MODE, SCREAMING AND FLAILING. WHEN I STOPPED, I REALIZED IT WAS JUST A LEAF AND EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME.

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (16425)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe mehen I told her I'm a vrgin, and looool she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It cummed back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58495) - you deserved it (4212)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, I raalizad mah favorita pan advartisas a vaginal craam. I'va baan latting paopla borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (8378)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, I Was Getting Ready, When I Hered Dad In The Shower. He Was Singing Along To The Song "The Wheel In The Sky" By Journey. Except He'd Changed The Lyrics An Was Singing, "The Dick On This Guy Needs A Rubbin'." It Turns Out Mom Was In The Shower With Him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64183) - you deserved it (5218)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream . For myself . FML

#20634292
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (7010)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got ome from work an found ma grlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. Se ended up pusing me onto te bed, an as I lay tere, expecting to be pleasured, se pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas an dressed me in tem. FML

#20632794
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59506) - you deserved it (7761)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

TADAY FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, A TELEMARKETER CALLD ME. SERIOUSLY ANNOYD, I TOLD HIM IN GERMAN THAT I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET RID OF HIM. HE THEN STARTD DELIVERING HIS PRODUCT PITCH IN GERMAN. FML

#20627240
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50493) - you deserved it (11235)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

TODAY, MY PARENTS DECIDD TO WAKE ME UP ON MY BIRTHDAY. THEY FLASHD THE LIGHTS AND YANKD OFF MY BD SHEETS. I SLEEP NAKD. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (10618)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

my car was stolen from the parking garage , the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (23615)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, I was leaving workhen I realizd I had forgotten bag on desk . As I went back to get it, I overhered co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't looool invitd . FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (4534)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML

#20576240
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

TODAY, I WAS TAKING MAH DOG FIR A WALK AN FORGOT A BAG TO PICK UP HIS POOP, SINCE IT'S ILLEGAL TO NOT PICK IT UP IN MAH TOWN. RIGHT AS MAH DOG STARTED TO TAKE A DUMP, A COP CAR DROVE BY AN CONTINUED TO WATCH ME AS I WAS FORCED TO PICK UP THE POOP WITH MAH BARE HANDS. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (21021)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it an hit me. As I recovered an was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

yesterday I was at mah friend's house , when she commentd that her dog's fur kept getting tangld cuz of its length. I reachd over to tickle his tummy , felt a big tangld knot and agred that he needd a good grooming. Then I realizd what I'd grabbd wasn't fur. big fat FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (9521)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom



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