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Capt_Oblivious

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Capt_Oblivious

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7207
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Capt_Oblivious : You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Want to know more? Contact me, it may just enrich your life. But probably not by much.

Capt_Oblivious's page activity

Visits<b>PureTime</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:00am<b>xxnick2dmaxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Martijn1102</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Talis99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:44pm<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:23am<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:34pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:24am<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:34pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>rubez08</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:29am<b>CrackCrazedMonky</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:10pm<b>F_Ur_Lives</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:22am<b>Alchemist_21</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:39pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:33am<b>adam97</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:17am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:42am

Capt_Oblivious's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Capt_Oblivious's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (37060)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (32470)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (3590)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43209) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51577) - you deserved it (3688)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47997) - you deserved it (17140)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47766) - you deserved it (3352)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57401) - you deserved it (5879)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49181) - you deserved it (5265)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

#20645667
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51610) - you deserved it (8554)

On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51248) - you deserved it (3841)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64939) - you deserved it (7893)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69777) - you deserved it (7851)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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